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Inside Ed's Head

"The Cunning Linguist" - The Year in Review
By Ed
Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Ed here,

2006 is almost gone, but "The Cunning Linguist", made his mark. Let's take a look 'back at some of the memorable things that W. said this past year.

January 12, 2006;
"It's a heck of a place to bring your family" Bush in New Orleans.

February 1, 2006;
"I like my buddies from west Texas. I liked them when I was young, I liked them when I was middle-age, I liked them before I was president, and I like them during president, and I like them after president". I realize this is hard to believe, but he actually said this.

March 22, 2006;
"No question that the enemy has tried to spread sectarian violence. They use violence as a tool to do that". Do you suppose his daddy cuffed him on the back of the head too many times when he was little?

April 18, 2006;
"I'm the decider, and I decide what is best. And what's best is for Don Rumsfeld to remain as Secretary of Defense". I bet he flunked out of Yale Communitee College?

May 5, 2006;
"Finally, the desk, where we'll have our picture taken in front of-is 9 other presidents used it. This was given to us by Queen Victoria in the 1870's, I think it was. President Roosevelt put the door in so people wouldn't know he was in a wheelchair. John Kennedy put his head out the door". I have no idea what that means.

June 14, 2006;
"I think-tide turning-see, as I remember-I was raised in the desert, but tides kind of-it's easy to see a tide turn - did I say that?" Yes you did George.

July 15, 2006;
"One thing is clear, is relations between America and Russia are good, and they're important that they be good". July was kind of a slow month.

August 28, 2006;
"And I suspect that what you'll see, Toby, is there will be a momentum, momentum will be gathered. Houses will begat jobs, jobs will begat houses". This crap is hard to read.

September 6, 2006;
"You know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror". It took him 9 months to say something I can believe.

October 26, 2006;
"You know when I campaigned here in 2000, I said, I want to be a war president. No president wants to be a war president, but I am one". No, you are a moron.

November 1, 2006;
"Anybody who is in a position to serve this country ought to understand the consequences of words". Does anyone actually think he understands anything he says?

December 7, 2006;
"Make no mistake about it, I understand how tough it is, sir. I talk to families who die". Thank god there are only 12 months in a year.

Originally I thought W. missed his flight physical because he couldn't pass his piss test. I was wrong for thinking that. He had to have gotten lost on the way to the hospital. I bet occasionally, he forgets to wipe his ass after he takes a dump.

Opinions are like ass-holes, I just showed you mine.
Ed

Have a safe and Happy New Year!

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Let's Climb Mount Hood
By Ed
Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Ed here,

How many millions of dollars have been wasted on the 3 morons that decided to climb Mt. Hood in December? Don't these idiots realize its wintertime? I don't think they should stop people from climbing anytime they want, but they should outlaw searching for them if they are stupid enough do it in the winter. These 3 are supposedly educated men. There is a big difference between book-smarts and common sense. There is no point in rescue personnel risking their lives because 3 idiots want to live on the edge. Hopefully they will find the other 2 popsicles soon so the people looking for them can get off the mountain.

Sen. Harry Reid says he will support troop increases in Iraq if it will insure speeding up the time frame for pulling troops out. Sounds to me like Harry is willing to walk with Bush on the so-called Iraq war. The American public voted in November to change the course in Iraq, but they didn't vote to change it for the worse. Maybe Harry should listen to the people that put him in his position.

The Vatican is toying with the idea of starting a football team. Imagine all the Hail Mary passes they could throw. Then get a mental picture of the cheerleaders. How could they lose with Touchdown Jesus being their 12th man? I'm kidding, but they are hoping to start a soccer team. How gay is that?

It seems that George Bush is hoping to have his presidential library built at Southern Methodist University. Get this; the theological department at SMU is petitioning the university not to allow it. All of W's ass-kissing of the religious right doesn't seem to have paid off. Looks to me like the thumpers are sick of your shit too George.

I never thought I would ever hear Bush advocate un-wed motherhood, but he did it. According to Bush, Mary Cheney will make an excellent loving mother. How can that be George? She lives with another woman. This child will be raised by 2 women. Last I knew you were dead set against 2 gays raising a child. I just figured out your side George. You never said anything about lesbians, now did you? So according to George, it's OK for 2 lesbian women to raise a child, but he's drawing the line with gay men. How fucked up is that? Let them get married George. There is no reason why one should be able to walk away from a relationship with all of their belongings. That's Un-American. Remember every divorce is caused by a marriage.

Abstinence Education, now isn't that kind of an oxy-moron? Military intelligence, there's another one. By the Republicans taking money from the programs that teach kids about the pit-falls of unprotected sex, they have decided to spend millions on telling kids to save themselves for marriage. That sounds good, but since when did 16 year olds start listening to shit like that? 90% of the people surveyed admitted to having sex before marriage. I find that very hard to believe. All of you guys out there remember high school. 7 out of every 10 boys had a CHANCE at getting laid. Those other 3 goofy-looking nerds had no chance in hell of getting to touch a pussy, let alone dip their wick. Now the girls on the other hand, 10 of 10 could get laid anytime they wanted. That's just a fact. So now we have 17 out of 20 that got laid. Do the math, that's 85%. 1 of those 3 nerds is a lying mother-fucker.

Sorry I couldn't check in last week, but I was in Vegas losing my money. I had intended to check in, but I broke my wife's lap-top on de plane. Sometimes instead of calling me Ed, she calls me Special Ed. She's got a point.

I hope everyone has a safe and happy holiday season. Remember, opinions are like ass-holes. I just showed you mine.
Ed

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Why Did the Dems Win Back the House and Senate?
By Ed
Wednesday, December 6, 2006

Ed here,

Do you suppose they won it back because Nancy Pelosi said that impeachment of George Bush was off the table? I don't think so; I think the majority of this country wants that ass-hole gone as soon as possible. I think that the majority of this country thinks he belongs in prison, not the Oval Office. Nancy Pelosi seems to use the term bi-partisanship in the same fashion that Bush uses "Stay the Course". She says it, but she's too far to the left for me. I'm a hard-core Democrat, but above all, I'm a moderate Democrat. Nancy is no moderate. If the Democratic party allows her to call the shots for the next 2 years, we are guaranteed to lose both houses and have a Republican president again in 2008. The Democrats always seem to play nice. Nice guys finish last. They are trying to play that working together shit. It doesn't work. We need a far left speaker as much as we need the Republicans to control all 3 branches of government again in 2008. When Nancy backed Murtha I knew we were in trouble.

Then there's Charlie Rangel: Introduces a bill to re-instate the draft, then votes against the bill he brought up. Charlie is fun to listen to, and I think it's because he sounds like a working class man, but I also think Charlie is full of shit. My guess is, he has manicured finger-nails and never had a callous. The republicans called his bluff when he brought the bill forward and he folded. He's trying to start the same talk again, and he'll fold again. They say he's just trying to make a point, but I think he's just trying to insure his cush job. I'm told that Charlie is talking about raising retirement age and cutting retirement benefits. Another point he's trying to make I will assume. Why would he care about that, he's taken care of. Congress has seen to that. Why in the fuck are the people that serve in Congress and the Senate any better than us? They spend 5% of their time in session, and 95% of their time begging for money from the people they are supposed to be serving. Or are they begging for money from the multi-national businesses they seem to be representing?

If it sounds like I'm pissed off, It's only because I am. I didn't think the Democrats would be able to pull it off in November, but they did. Not because the Democrats had a message, but because the people were so tired of how things were going. Now the Democrats are proving they don't have a message. Maybe the Democrats should try taking the lead and cater to the middle-class working people of this country instead the gays and gun-control crowd. Believe it or not, they are by far the minority.

My objective this week was to piss a lot of people off. With any luck, I achieved my objective. At least, if you are pissed, then we are both pissed. We have a lot bigger problems in this country than gay marriage and gun-control. Let's take care of the bigger problems first, then we can deal with gay-marriage. I would like to see you gun-control freaks move on to another party because I have no time for you. Shit, I forgot about religion; I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid.

Opinions are like ass-holes, I just showed you mine.

Ed

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