dubyaD40.com - Inside Ed's Head

Inside Ed's Head

My Boss Is Simple
By Ed
Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Ed here,

I've come to the conclusion that my boss is a complete fucking idiot. He's also a Republican.

I am a maintenance man for a company that produces gelatin. We make gelatin from hog skins and cattle bones. Next time you eat a gummi-bear, I fixed the pump that sent it down the line. Next time you take a capsule of any kind of medication, I am the guy that makes sure it gets to you. The next time you take a picture with your out of date film camera, I'm the guy that takes care of the equipment that makes it possible for you to have all these pleasures of life.

The company I work for utilizes steam, refrigeration, and several other forms of energy to provide a product for the companies that supply jello, camera film, and pharmaceutical products, including Gummi-bears. We have our own water-treatment facility. To work in the water treatment facility you need the proper training, according to the company. The men that work in the water treatment facility are all getting older and ready to retire. By the way, I work on all of these systems now. My boss doesn't have a clue on how to fix these systems. The company has decided that they need to get some people trained to run these systems.

Before we get too far into this I will tell you that we have a new plant manager. He's a young man that I worked with when he was an up-and-comer. He's pretty sharp, and I think that what he did was to see what he had to work with.

I work in a union shop, so seniority rules. I don't have a problem with that, but I think he does. I get the feeling he wants the best man for the job. What I really like about him is the fact that he's making all of his supervisors take all of the tests that we have to take. YABBA DABBA DOO.

So far, out of about 15 college educated supervisors, 2 have passed the initial math test. In fact, for every failure in the working class, 2 supervisors have failed. All of which are Republicans I might add. I must point out that the math test pretty much covered 8th and 9th grade shit, mostly 8th. He obviously doesn't have much to work with, as far as supervision goes.

I scored a 96% on the test, but my boss scored a mammoth 68%. 80% is required to pass and not have to take the math class so you can move on in the curriculum. So that says that the Republican moron that I work for got 16 questions wrong on a 50 question test. This only goes to prove that when most all of you out there say that your boss is an idiot, you are right. Remember, it was 8th and 9th grade shit. That tells me that only 2 out of every 15 Republicans are smart enough to do 8th grade math. Thank God I'm not a Republican.

By the way, GW Bush was a cheerleader. Nothing against cheerleaders, but I think we ought to amend the constitution so only girl cheerleaders can be president.

All facts today.

Ed

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Reagan Was An Actor
By Ed
Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Ed here,

George Bush and Tony Blair are lousy actors. The little game they played at the G8 summit was (in the immortal words of Daffy Duck) despicable. You can't tell me that all of a sudden Mr. Blair realized that the microphone was on. In a pig's ass. That little sound bite was planned. They made sure they both got in their statements and then the microphone was turned off. When the microphone was turned off, you can bet the real talking began.

Bush and Blair want the conflict in Israel and Lebanon more than the people doing the actual fighting. What better way to increase the price of filling your gas tank. There's not a drop of oil in either country, but as long as they are at odds, considering their location, dollar signs are in their eyes.

Look at North Korea. Oh wait, there is no oil in the region. The boys are all for diplomacy in North Korea. Bush for diplomacy? When did he learn that word? North Korea has nuclear technology and Heckle & Jeckle are all for diplomacy? Could it be because they only like to fuck with people that they can kick the shit out of? Or is it because of oil?

When I was in 8th grade, there was a kid that pissed me off. After school I chased him for 3 blocks. When I caught him I learned a valuable lesson. The young man I'm talking about kicked my ass. I'm guessing these 2 pansies never got into a tussle on their way home from school. If they had, maybe they'd have learned the same valuable lesson I learned. These 2 scum-bags are all about money. They have the clout to tell Israel to lay off for a while but they won't do it.

From what I know about Israel, which isn't much, I get the feeling that they would prefer to see all Muslims dead just as all Muslims would prefer all Jews dead. Hey George and Tony, guess what, this shit has been going on between them for hundreds of years. I'm just about to the point where I've decided that religion is for the extremists.

Ok, as I told you in the past I'd dive into religion. It's time. Every religion I can think of calls for living with your neighbor, treating another man as if he's your brother. If that's true, why does everyone want to kill each other? Religion will be the downfall of man. We are on the verge of WWIII. Bush and Blair will be more than happy to blame it on Muslims and Jews, but when push comes to shove, money is their religion. Everytime I go to church, the preacher asks for money. The Bible is hard to read because it contradicts itself, and I'm not ready to accept the fact that Buddists, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Methodists, Lutherans, and every other religion can all be right. In a nut-shell, religion is a way for people to feel good about themselves.

That's not all bad, but when it requires judging other people for their beliefs, it's all bad. The only thing that has killed more people on this earth than religion is natural causes. I do believe in a higher power, but I have the feeling he(or she) could care less if I'm Jewish or Muslim, Catholic or Methodist, or any other religion for that matter.

The Church of Ed requires that you treat others as you would want to be treated. To help out a person in need, even if that person is a Muslim or Jew or even Scientologist. My higher power tells me that if I live by those simple rules, I'm welcome in heaven.

As far as I'm concerned, The information I provided on The Church of Ed is fact. The part about Bush and Blair are my opinion.

Opinions are like ass-holes. I just showed you mine.

Ed

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My Dick
By Ed
Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Ed here,

I hope everyone had a great 4th of July holiday. I spent the week on vacation. Fishing and keeping my Bud-Eye on. While I was out on the river catfish hunting the song "My Girl" by the Temptations played on the radio. I like to write my own version to songs, so what the hell, everyone sing along to the tune of "My Girl".

I've got Iraq's Oil wells at bay
If you need gas you're gonna have to pay
I guess you'd say Dick controls my every play
My Dick My Dick My Dick
Talkin bout My Dick ( My Dick)

I've got mushrooms feed-em shit all day
They're sheep I say Dick has the say
I guess you'd say Dick controls my every play
My Dick My Dick My Dick
Talkin bout My Dick (ooooooooooo)

When Dick's away Daddy shows the way
Makes his buddies pay cause I'm dumb they say
I guess you'd say Dick controls my every play
My Dick MY Dick My Dick
Talkin bout My Dick (My Dick)

Refrain:
I guess you'd say Dick controls my every play
My Dick My Dick My Dick
Talkin bout My Dick (My Dick My Dick)

OK, now it's time to get serious. I'm sure most of you like a good movie now and then. Here are a few of my favorites. I'm sure you can find them in most movie rental stores. If you can't, pay-per-view might have them.

1. "Meet The Fucker's"
Featuring; George Bush and Dick Cheney. Terrible actors, but they seem to get the point across to a lot of people.

2. "Benedict Arnold"
Featuring; George Lieberman. Hollywood couldn't have picked a better man to play the part.

3. "The Filthy Dozen"
Featuring; Ronald Reagan, Richard Nixon, GHW Bush, GW Bush, Dick Cheney, Newt Gingrich, Dennis Hastert, Tom Delay, Bill Frist, Rick Santorum, Jeb Bush, & Ted Nugent.
This is a quality cast of filthy no good trash. You don't want to miss this one.

4. "The Good The Bad & The Ugly"
Featuring; John Kerry, George Bush, & Dick Cheney.
I think we all know who's who in this one.

ED

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