dubyaD40.com - Clyde's Corner

Clyde's Corner

"The NASCAR Liberal" clyde@dubyaD40.com


The Political Gender Gap by Clyde 7:26 AM In the past I have been accused of being a sexist. Well duh! I'm a guy damn it. The fact of the matter is that men and women are hardwired differently therefore it is just natural that hormones come into play throughout everything we do, every day. Now in the current primary fight between Clinton and Obama the evidence of sexism, thankfully, has reared its ugly head only briefly. However, we must all take each candidate's gender into account when thinking about who would be best in the White House. That is something I would like to explore now. Let us say that Hillary becomes the president and there is a disagreement between herself and Secretary of State Biden (my preference for the position) over some Mid-East crisis or what not? In trying to make her case to Biden but be unable to sway him, will she finally resort to something every woman out there uses? Bringing up some bullshit he pulled in nineteen ninety fucking six? I can just see it now, Biden finds a chink in the estrogen armor, and she flies into a rage, breaking the new White House china (gold leaf inset on a blue background) all over the new Oval Office carpet (Floral pattern) and all because he would not commit too whether or not her butt looked fat in a pant suit. What if Ahmadinejad pulls one of his Einstein moments on a heavy flow day? Why it could very well turn into an estrogenocidal event of biblical proportions. Or what happens if Kim Jong IL decides to back out of another nuclear treaty on a day when she is feeling frumpy? I'm sorry but it is not much use on the world stage when the president of the United States rests comfortably on the couch, eating Bon-Bons, and watching "I Love Lucy" reruns while admonishing members of her cabinet for not doing something constructive. However, it might not be all bad either. What if we were able to get our congress critters to pass some form of universal health care on a day when she was in a nurturing mood? We might just get some sensible prescription drug coverage as an additional gift because we were being good. Not too mention that the money spent in the Pentagon would be better spent because what woman does not like a bargain? Although we may end up with HumVees in pretty pastels but what the fuck, we got them cheap. As far as diplomacy goes, could you imagine what would happen if Hillary went up to German Chancellor Merkel and tried rubbing her shoulders? Why all you would need is some clear plastic platform shoes with some cheesy music and voila, a pay per view event that would even have some Republicans picking up the tab. Not Larry Craig mind you, but throw in some Pampers and you might at least get Vitter's attention. Now before you ladies start lambasting me because I am only picking on female quirks let me get to Obama. Is it really smart for a man to be in control of the nuclear football? We can't even put a remote down long enough too watch a whole television show without channel surfing! Next thing you know, Obama is watching Sport Center when a fucking Massengill commercial comes on and whoops, say bye bye too Pago Pago. As far as Obama's manliness goes, just how well do you think the "pull my finger" routine will go over at the G-8 summit? I can just see it, attendees of the global economic forums are going to have to put up with enough flatulence to heat the city of Chicago, and there will be Obama in the corner laughing his ass off because no one had ever heard the friggin joke before. Of course all of the other leaders who are home to the "Y" chromosome are going to go home and pull it on their ole ladies, so that might work out well. Then there is the fact that us men cannot keep our hands off of our junk in public. Can you imagine a press conference where Helen Thomas is asking about the withdrawal of Iraq and the first thing Obama does is reposition his Johnson like he was jerkin the gherkin? My God, it would be enough to make Ann-dy Coulter's Adam's apple bob up and down faster than Harlem Globetrotter dribbling a basketball because Obama was able to get away with it in public and he wasn't. (By the way, where has that son of a bitch been lately, estrogen therapy?) But on a positive note, when comes to getting into a pissing match with some dictator whose got his undies in a bunch over something we did, Obama definitely has the edge. After all, you know what they say about black men. Permalink :: 2 comments :: Post a Comment

Paying more for living less by Clyde 7:11 AM I swear to God that the next time I hear a politician speak about how they know what the American people are suffering through I am going to fucking explode! The fact of the matter is that all of our elected officials, whether they are democrat or republican, do not have a fucking clue about the plight of the middle class. Those of us, who go to work every day, pay our taxes, and follow the rules are flat out taking it in the shorts and all we are getting from Washington is more of the same old bullshit lip service. They speak of tax relief then, do nothing. They speak of affordable health and do nothing. They speak of the burden of high energy prices and once again, DO NOTHING! You could not kill the middle class any quicker than the way in which it is being done right now. High oil prices are affecting every middle class pocketbook in this country in more ways than just the fucking pump. I would love for one person, just one who could give me one example where the price of gas is not inflating the price. Yet, not one thing is being done by our government to help alleviate the problem. I would love to get Reid and Pelosi together and ask them if they have ever heard of the term "government imposed price ceiling." Simply sit the CEO's of big oil down and tell them that they can not raise the price of gas past point, period end of story. I know many think that that will only lead big oil to cut supply and sell somewhere else. Well to put it mildly, that will never happen. The fact is that even though we have a weak dollar and the economy is in the proverbial shitter, we are still the world's largest consumer market and should we fall, everybody else is going down with us. No matter what, the world needs our gluttony. What happens to China should we stop buying their products? They drop like a fucking stone. What happens to parts of Africa and Asia where feeding the multitude depends on the U.S. farmer but he can't afford to run his tractor? People starve to death. However, not one single politician is willing to recognize that fact and use it to the American people's advantage. The middle class is running on fumes and has been squeezed dry by our government, multi-national corporations, and "democratic societies" like fucking China yet there is only a handful in congress even attempting to help us out. They play lip service to rising medical costs. Oh sure I'm going to listen to someone tell me about the burden when not only am I paying for myself but also footing the bill for them. I'm going to listen to someone tell me my grocery bill is too high while they dine at catered luncheons and fund raising dinners. To tell the honest truth, I am pretty much fed up with both political parties and the only reason I am sticking with the Democrats is because I still believe we can change the course of this country. But only if we can get the right people elected and kick some of the bums out. I used to like Pelosi but she has proven herself to be another "do-nothing until it affects me" style democrat. Reid is just a fucking pussy. And I really could care less at this point whether it is Obama or Clinton. I just want to see some fucking results. Permalink :: 0 comments :: Post a Comment