dubyaD40.com - Clyde's Corner

Clyde's Corner

"The NASCAR Liberal" clyde@dubyaD40.com


My response to an email by Clyde 7:25 AM Recently I received an email from a reader who took issue with the way I write. This reader thought that I should be more "uplifting" and "positive" instead of just being "upset about everything" when I write my "blog." Now to tell a little secret, I am not sure I can write that way. I have sat here writing for almost an hour and this is the third time I've written this paragraph. Being happy or inspiring just doesn't work for me. To me, being positive is a Rush Limbaugh drug screen and uplifting is Ann Coulter in front of the urinal. Sorry but that is just the way I am. As for my blog, that only happens when I've eaten too much cheese. I write about politics therefore I'm angry. It's hard to be happy at your country's state of affairs when that country is in an illegal war, poverty levels are rising, more than 48 million of my fellow citizens are without healthcare and college students committing heinous acts of murder just because he couldn't get the mental health treatment he needed. This reader wanted to know my "agenda, and what my "American values" are. To tell the truth, I do not believe I have an agenda. I have views of right or wrong and I am quite sure that they are pretty much the same as everyone else's. Does that constitute an agenda; I don't know you tell me. And as for my American values, are they any different than the values of someone from another country? What I do value in life is the well-being of my friends and family. After that, all of the other crap is secondary and I would be willing to bet dimes to dollars that is the same the world over. This reader wants to know what I would do if I were president and to be a positive role model. Well first, if I were president I would immediately demand a recount. Second, I would use my power as Commander-in-Chief and order the Department of Defense to make all non-combat vehicles fuel flexible within three years and all ground based vehicles in five. Why you may ask? Because it would force the government into the leading role on weaning this country off oil and shift American foreign policy away from invading unarmed nations so we could steal their natural resources to satiate our hunger to keep soccer moms in their SUV's. As for being a role model, let us not forget that I moved away from Iowa for the glitz and glamour of Kansas. Not exactly what I would call an example of Herculean sized intelligence. Listen, I could tell you about how I support this view or that view and how I would change things if I had the power, but where is the fun in that? The best I can ever hope for is to make you laugh once or twice thereby making your day a little better than it was before. To me, that is being positive and uplifting. Permalink :: 2 comments :: Post a Comment

Imus in the mourning by Clyde 7:57 AM As much as I may agree with the outcome of the Imus debacle, I must admit that the ripple effect that it may cause has me as nervous as a leper contemplating masturbation. First of all, let me be perfectly clear. I do not like Don Imus, I have never liked Don Imus and I never will like Don Imus. In fact, if Don Imus were anally raped by a syphilitic rhinoceros, I would be more concerned about the traumatic psychological effects upon said creature of the wild than any harm done to that son of a bitch. That said, I fear that we are treading into dangerous waters when it comes to the subject of free speech. No one disputes that society demands that we have standards of behavior that must be met, but who among us is really qualified to decide what the standards must be when it comes to the subject of a person's views? Should it be the majority, because I thought that the Constitution was a document that ensured the rights to the minority. Is it decided because of past deeds or is it decided by the moment? Does it apply to only those in the main stream media or does it apply to the people as a whole? These are serious questions to a serious issue, where does a person's right to free speech stop. Listen, if we are to regulate what can and cannot be said at any given time, we could be denying ourselves of the most basic right we have. I am in no way defending Imus, but this is a situation that could have lasting repercussions upon a myriad of things. When do we find the comedy of Chris Rock or Andrew Dice Clay so offensive that we force them to other means of supporting themselves? When do we find my friend Bob Kincaid's term "Repiglican" out of bounds? When does my right to question Ann-Dee Coulter's manhood come to an end? Now does this mean that I think there should be no standards placed upon free speech, not at all. Certain things must be but most of those instances involve the safety of people and property. Screaming "FIRE" in a crowded theater yes, yelling at the stupid assed teenager about to diced up by Freddy Kruger no. It is all a matter of context and ramifications. In addition to the free speech concerns, what has happened to the citizens of the great land where mere words can cause so much pain and anguish? It wasn't like Imus was at Fox News hawking free falafels and twelve people were injured by a stampeding Bill O'Reilly. He made disparaging remarks, unjust yes, insensitive yes, beyond the pale most definitely, but ultimately they were just words. Can we be so injured by ignorant remarks that we curl up and whimper like Rush Limbaugh at the end of a Boy Scout jamboree? With all that is going on in this country do we really need to let the comments by an ignorant racist dominate the news? We have the White House using the RNC email server to get around the Records Act. The military has had their deployments lengthened. The Justice Department is being investigated for political cronyism. And we finally found out the identity of the father to Anna Nicole's baby, you know, important shit. Yet, all we have heard for the better part of a week is Don Imus. Let us hope that this was a win against racism and not a loss for individual freedom. Permalink :: 0 comments :: Post a Comment

My weekly load of crap by Clyde 8:27 AM This week it was announced that nine of the thirteen Republican candidates for president have accepted former First Lady Nancy Reagan's invitation for a debate that is to be televised on MSNBC. Just think, if they can get all thirteen to attend, then they will have successfully gathered more dicks vying for a single spot since Anna Nicole Smith's last menstrual cycle. Senator John McCain was once again successful in his efforts to undermine his own candidacy. In an act that is akin to wiping one's ass with a cheese grater, McCain took a trip to a Baghdad market to show how safe it is. Clad in Kevlar, with Apache Gunships overhead and surrounded by American troops the once lauded front-runner for the Republican nomination tried to make it seem as all was well and that the surge was working. Fucking moron! An Air Force Veteran is seeking $200,000 and unspecified damages because doctor's at the West Los Angeles VA Medical Center removed the wrong testicle. Because the left testicle had atrophied and could possibly contain cancer cells Benjamin Houghton, 47, was set to have it removed. Imagine Houghton's surprise when he was informed that they had mistakenly removed the right testicle and that the infected one was still in place. Can anyone say medical malpractice? If I were a Republican and therefore against any case brought by a trial lawyer, I would look to the bright side and conclude that the removal will result in getting rid of that wicked slice in his golf swing. Thank God, I am not a Republican. Is it just me or does it seem a little strange that the 15 British Marines captured by Iran were a little to quick to confess? With no signs of abusive treatment, these supposed hard core, battle ready troops began to admit that they were in Iranian waters from the very start. If I were a betting man I would put money down that they were ordered into an area in order to provoke the Iranians into a fight. But president Adickinmyhand didn't take the bait so therefore military action by the Allies could not be waged. I guess Tony Blair just can't get off of Georgie's lap. Speaking of blowjobs, could George W. Bush be a homosexual? Well looking to the past we see a dominatrix who says she witnessed Shrub taking the chrome off another guy's trailer hitch, (Hat tip to Mick) a male prostitute visiting the White House hundreds of times and the fact that Bush took a fancy to the Canadian Prime Minister's male press secretary, one has to wonder. Couple that with his penchant for using the word "fabulous" and the following exchange taken from the official White House transcript: Bill. Q Mr. President, a lot of the disagreement over -- THE PRESIDENT: Wrong Bill. Q Which one, him? THE PRESIDENT: No, you. The cute-looking one. I've concluded that Bush likes to occasionally tickle a tallywhacker. And finally: Alabama teenager Natalee Holloway is still missing, the NASA astronaut still has a job, the Duke Lacrosse Team is still in school and Anna Nicole Smith is still dead! Permalink :: 0 comments :: Post a Comment