dubyaD40.com - Clyde's Corner

Clyde's Corner

"The NASCAR Liberal" clyde@dubyaD40.com


I'm just rambling by Clyde 7:50 AM Talk about laying your Johnson atop an anvil and hitting it with a ball-peen hammer, did you see the McCain campaign go into the shitter? It was an amazing sight worthy of this year's "Macaca" award for sure and it's only March. What in the hell was McCain thinking? Obviously he wasn't. I know he has to justify his stance on the occupation, but my God, trying to say Americans can walk around parts of Baghdad. Now I may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer but if I had to choose between walking around Baghdad for an hour and being anally raped by the snake off a Roto-Rooter truck, I choose the latter. It has a much better comfort zone. Isn't it about time the Democrats start changing the terms in regards to what is going on in Iraq? All I ever hear is how the war is this and the war is that. This military incursion in Iraq is no longer a war, it is an occupation and the Democrats need to frame the legislation to reflect that. The Iraq spending bill that just passed both houses of congress is the prime example of a missed opportunity to ram this home. By referring to the legislation as the Iraqi Occupation Spending bill instead of the Iraq War, the Republicans would have been robbed of shrouding themselves in the military and their faux patriotism. You see, the Republicans know that as long as people think of this as a war, they will continue to view it through the prism of John Wayne movies with visions of gallantry and self-sacrifice. But if you tell the truth and repeatedly called it what it is, you would see a very different result. I have to admit that finally the fact that Bush affixes blame on the lowest rung of the ladder is being picked up by the "Librul" media. We've known this for a long time now but for the media, it is like a revelation from the heavens. I actually heard Tweety Mathews comment on it the other night and for someone who has direct knowledge of the condition of George's colon, that's saying something. Maybe it is because the country is making a shift to the left and therefore he is trying to keep his ratings up by shifting to the left also. But personally I think it is because the Bush Administration is coming apart like Britney Spear's during her menstrual cycle and they just want another chance at seeing the cooch. I have to admit that I am as happy as Bill O'Reilly at the Stockholm Loofa Festival because of what is going on in politics these days. A while back I wrote a column suggesting that the Democrats need not push for impeachment until the American sheeple demanded it. Well that time is rapidly approaching. Every day, like a German U-Boat, another turd breaks the surface of the punchbowl and we are treated to visions of corn shaped canoes headed for the sides. If you were to tell me four years ago that the Republicans would be running from Bush like Ann-Dee Coulter from a gender specific restroom, I would have said you were nuts. But things are adding up and the people are finally getting sick and tired of what they are seeing. Scandals like the NSA spying, Gonzo-gate, Walter Reed and now the GSA are beginning to pile up and now, I would not be surprised that the first real call for impeachment comes from a Republican. Thought for the day: The difference between a smart man and a clever one is that smart man knows everything there is to know about a Snickers bar, a clever man knows just enough to sell it outside a fat farm. Permalink :: 0 comments :: Post a Comment

Getting some things off my chest by Clyde 7:32 AM Why is Bob's Big Boy on Meet the press? I could have sworn that Tom Delay was forced out of congress because he was indicted for money laundering. Yet, there he is, Helmet Head, sitting on the panel, talking about Iraq and how we should all just shut the fuck up and be "patriotic" automatons for Georgie. Is it because he is wrote a fucking book? Well guess what, so did O.J., but that doesn't mean I want hear his views on how to secure matrimonial harmony. Tom Delay has no business debating politics on television when he should be thinking about jelly or syrup as his condiment of choice for his cell mate's nightly tossed salad. And speaking of Iraq, I'm getting really sick and tired of the Republicans changing their rhetoric between "the Democrats have no plan" to "the Democrats are trying to micro-manage the war." I mean, what the fuck? Either they have a plan or they don't, make up your goddamned mind. If the Democrats have no plan, how is that different from what Bush has done since Mission Fucking Accomplished? And if they are trying to micro-manage, isn't about time somebody put the tattoo on the tick's ass after the total lack of planning by Rummy and friends? Come to think of it, that is not the only example of Republican's changing their tune to fit the mood. I have gotten so used to the "Clinton did it" mantra, the one time it rang true, the Republicans would rather sprinkle salt on their junk after jacking off with a Brillo pad, than say it. Clinton was fucked with on a daily basis because he lied under oath about a blow job. But when it comes to a Republican lying about the exposure of a covert CIA operative, we are all suppose to sit back, sing Kumbaya and think of Scooter as the innocent workaholic in dire need of a ginkgo biloba fix. Not to mention, isn't serving the president's pleasure an impeachable offense anymore? Because it sure as hell was during Clinton's tenure? Let me see if I have this right. A Republican PresiDunce appoints a Republican as a United States Attorney, then fires said Republican US Attorney because the attorney wasn't investigating Democrats enough to suit the Republican Political Advisor to the Republican PresiDunce and I'm supposed to be okay with that? Fuck That! If Lewinsky bobbing on the bubba is enough to force Clinton's aides in front of congress under oath then, by God, Rove and Miers had better goose step their asses right on over to Capitol Hill, sit down in front of Schumer and Leahy, and testify like Jimmy Swaggart after a date. What really grabs my nads is that the Republicans are trying to say that the Democrats are just trying to fish a perjury charge from KKKarl Rove. Well here's an idea, tell the fucking truth and you wouldn't have to worry about it. I mean, sit down and start singing as if you were Julie Andrews in the Swiss Alps and who knows, you're only going to spend a couple months of vacation at Club Fed before your pardon comes down. Permalink :: 0 comments :: Post a Comment

FREE SCOOTER by Clyde 8:23 AM Call me a nut, but I actually want Bush to pardon Scooter Libby. Just not for the reasons you may think. Consider this for a moment. In the political pond, Scooter was a medium sized fish, a crappie if you will. Not something that you necessarily want mounted on your wall, but still some mighty fine eating. However, wouldn't you be willing to let that crappie go so you could catch the lunker large-mouthed bass hiding under the dock? Hell yes you would. This is no different. (Hey PETA, bite me, I don't give you shit for being a carrot cruncher.) You see, there is still a civil suit pending and by taking a pardon, Libby could be compelled to testify. No longer would he be able to hide behind his Fifth Amendment right against self-incrimination. Either he would have to come clean, or commit perjury again, hence we get to Cheney and Rove, or he wastes the pardon and goes to jail. While it might be expensive to retry a convicted felon, after approximately $70 million spent on a blow job, I would consider this to be a wise expenditure on the government's part. In addition to the civil suit, a pardon would force Shrub to comment publically as to why Rove and Cheney are still members of his administration. After all, he did tell us that if anyone in his administration were involved in leaking the Valerie Wilson's name, they would no longer be a member and we would finally get to know if Cheney's right hand is really covered with Shrub shit or not. With no legal action pending apart from the Wilson suit, Tony Snowjob will need a "Hefty" sized colostomy bag to hold all of the shit he would need to pull at a moments notice trying not to answer the question. The best that Bush could hope for is that Libby's legal woes carry on for the next two years so he doesn't have to admit publically that he and his cronies fixed the intelligence to fit the policy and start an illegal war. 80% of this country now feels the invasion of Iraq was wrong, but there is still that 20% that believe that the village idiot did the right thing. A public admission would be the death knell of the neo-conservative ideology and he knows it. Bush now faces a dilemma of monumental proportions. He and the Republic Party are swiftly losing their base because of arrogance and ineptitude, and Bush must do something in which to keep that base within the fold. Congressionally there is very little he can do because the Democrats have their own agenda. A new military action would only get him impeached because there would be NO congressional approval whatsoever. So that only leaves him one option to satisfy the Geico commercial rejects that make up the Republican base, pardoning Scooter Libby. So I say, FREE SCOOTER, it'll be good for the country. P.S.Did you hear that Eva Brauny called John Edwards a faggot? The infected testicle threw out the F- bomb at the annual Klan rally known as the CPAC conference and all of the Republican presidential candidates are suddenly trying to distance themselves from him. What in the fuck did the expect from someone who considers his steak well-done when it loses its urge to hump his leg, show tunes? Permalink :: 0 comments :: Post a Comment

Maybe I'm just being petty by Clyde 8:54 AM Do those silly little Taliban bastards honestly believe that we put any credence into their claim that the suicide bomber at Bagram Air Base in Afghanistan was actually an assassination attempt on Shooter Cheney's life? First problem with that kind of thinking is that we Americans know that Cheney can't be killed. He's like a fucking cockroach shaking off the dust and resuming his hunt for bacon grease after a nuclear blast. Second, Cheney's anatomy has more machinery in it than Colonel Steve Austin and is therefore impervious to damage. To believe that this was an attempt on the life of the Vice President would require you to get a full frontal lobotomy and become a viewer of Fox News. Just what in the hell did Rudy Giuliani do to become "America's Mayor?" From what I remember of 9/11, the only thing this thrice wedded mob connected former prosecutor with an enlarged prostrate ever did was give news conferences talking about how everything that could be done was being done, only by someone else. This man actually believes that he deserves to be the next PresiDunce because of his actions in the immediate aftermath of the worst attack upon our soil in our nation's history. Rudy, please note that your intelligence does not inspire confidence when you brag that your first reaction to seeing the burning towers was "Thank god George W. Bush is president." Do you think there will ever be a USS Albert Gore Carrier Group? If this were a fair world, it could happen. But alas, this world is very unfair and we Americans will have to settle for aircraft carriers, numerous buildings in Washington and an international airport named after a man who played a supporting role to a chimpanzee. Will someone just go ahead and bury Anna Nicole Smith please? It's not that I really give a damn about the broad but by now she has got to be smelling as ripe as Ann Coulter's jockstrap. This woman should have been worm shit long ago but no, we have to keep her above ground while her family and friends try for their piece of the pie. It is fucking disgusting the way this has all played out and it is time for it to stop. Maybe, just maybe if they would get her planted beneath a headstone we could get back to important shit like trying to find missing Alabama teenager Natalee Holloway. Permalink :: 2 comments :: Post a Comment