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The Lieberman Factor By Clyde Thursday, November 16, 2006 Why in the hell are Democrats in the Senate kissing Joe (SUCKS) Lieberman's ass? Are they worried that he will go back on his word and switch over to the Republicans? So the fuck what! In case people have forgotten, before the election we Democrats were only concerned with retaking the House of Representatives. We, rightly, convinced ourselves that if we got the lower house of congress we would be able to instill the checks and balance that our country needed. Retaking the Senate was just going to be added gravy. However, now we have Democrats running around sniffing Loserman's ass like a pack of hounds, in hopes he will stay true to his word and "caucus with the Democrats." First off, Lieberman is only going to stay true to what he perceives is in his and Israel's best interest. This man's word ranks right up there with anal seepage. Does anyone actually believe that he will vote with the Democrats when it comes to legislation that really matters? Do not get me wrong, he will pay lip service by voting for things like stem cell research and raising the minimum wage. However, when it comes time to rein in Commander McChimp and his global war of terror, Holy Joe is going to nibble at Georgie's nads like a tweaking Pastor Ted. Second, the Democrats need not worry about Lieberman. If he publically admits to his closeted Republicanism, then he loses seniority and therefore his chair of the Senate Committee on Homeland Security. To get Lieberman to cross over would require the Republicans to offer him some sort of leadership position, which none of them are going to do. You have a slightly better chance at survival taking fresh road kill from Ann Coulter than you do trying to get a senator to give up power. And last but not the least, even if they were able to takeover the senate, who really cares? No matter what, the turds are going to float to the top when the House begins their investigations. All of Georgie's dirty little secrets are going to be brought to light and the American people are only going to get even angrier with the Republicans than they were before the last election. In fact, if you think about the consequences for the 2008 election, it would almost be preferable that the Republicans are the majority in the senate. When you consider the new Republican leadership, the Democrats are going to have political ammunition to spare. Think about this, Mitch McConnell is now minority leader (majority should Loserman switch). McConnell is a known mouthpiece for the Bush Administration so it is going to be two years of "more of the same." In fact, McConnell is so into the Bush Administration, photographers are dissuaded from photographing Bush from the back for fear of capturing him with a pair of legs protruding from his ass. Then you have the Minority Whip Trent Lott. Talk about the appropriate description of the senator from Mississippi. Racism is alive and well in the Republican Party and Lott's ascension to the number two post, continues to prove that point. With a Republican Majority in the senate, the four most likely scenarios for legislation are. 1) Democrats pass legislation in the house it gets defeated in the senate, Democrats use it as a campaign issue, Democrats, win in 2008. 2) Legislation passes the house and senate, Bush vetoes it. Democrats use it as a campaign issue, Democrats, win in 2008. 3) Legislation passes the house and senate, Bush signs it with a signing statement. Democrats use it as a campaign issue, Democrats, win in 2008. Legislation passes the house and senate, Bush signs it, the American people win in 2006. The fact of the matter is that the only one that needs to be kissing any ass is Loserman, he only needs to figure out which he prefers. Permalink :: 0 comments :: Post a Comment   This week in the news 11-9-06 By Clyde Thursday, November 9, 2006 This week's top stories: What's her name is still missing, what's his name is still dead, an ice machine was delivered to hell and a flock of swine has taken flight and was last seen flying out of Washington D.C. Yes, that is right folks THE DEMOCRATS WON! In a beat down reminiscent of an Ike and Tina Turner wedding anniversary, the Democrats took control of both houses of congress. While it was clear that Nancy Pelosi would be the new Speaker of the House on election eve, Americans were forced to endure a marathon showing of the Burns and Allen show in the Senate. Gracie said goodnight to Burns yesterday when the margin of victory exceeded the limit at which the incumbent senator from Montana could request a recount. In Virginia, the AP called the race for Webb late last night. Although the results were a slim victory for the senator-elect and within a recount total, Macacawitz is expected to concede some time today. In response to the blue tsunami that washed over their party, the Republicans are now into full Kindergartener mode on who is too blame for the loss of control. Within hours of the defeat, little Donny was the first sacrificial lamb for the toddlers. In a rare White House press conference, the PresiDunce publically accepted the resignation of the Secretary of Defense and nominated former CIA director Robert Gates to replace him. In a related story, Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice took time out of her busy schedule of dam building on a local tributary to high five with several members of her staff. It has long been rumored that Ms. Rice and Rumsfeld did not get along and waged battle over policy many times. However, it was considered by many that, although sharp and of immense size, her incisors just could not penetrate Rumsfeld's tiger claw defense. While many of the right wing echo chamber are trying to convince their listeners that the Democrats won because they ran like Republicans, the Barbiturate Behemoth Blow-hard Rush Limbaugh says he feels liberated. Immediately upon hearing Limbaugh's quote, the Boy Scouts of America cancelled all Cub Scout meetings in the Palm Beach area for the next six weeks. During the election, Vice President Dick "Shooter" Cheney was in South Dakota hunting with his daughter Mary. Upon hearing the news of the major loss by the Republicans, she refused to leave her room. In Pierre South Dakota, Democrat Marie Steichen, of Woonsocket defeated her Republican opponent and incumbent Merlin Feistner in the Jerauld County commissioner's race, even though she died two months prior to the election. How funny is it that with more than sufficient time to find a replacement for a departed candidate they decided it was a better chance at victory to continue her candidacy until the election? Some shit you just cannot make up. In all seriousness, it is time to put our partisan politics away and move forward together as a nation. It is time that we come together and work in a bi-partisan way to achieve the goals that this country must attain. Let us not delve into gloating and rubbing the Republicans nose in the piss stain on the rug. Let us put forth the hand of reconciliation and bring our ideological opponents onto the path of the future. FUCK THAT! WE WON! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA LIVE WITH IT YOU SILLY BASTARDS! Permalink :: 0 comments :: Post a Comment   Saying no to impeachment for now By Clyde Thursday, November 2, 2006 Should the Democrats take one or both of the houses of congress, they had better be aware that they would be under the microscope, not just by the Republicans but by us as well. Do not fool yourself into thinking that just because they have a big D behind their name that that gives them a pass when it comes to governing the country. I know that I am going to be slammed for saying this but the first order of business is not impeaching the PresiDunce George W. Bush. There are far too many other fish to fry that are more important than getting his ass out of the Oval Office. As much as I would love to see his ass frog-marched out of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, the fact of the matter is that with Democrats in control he becomes a lame duck and therefore pretty much irrelevant. Even though he would still be in charge of the military, the congress has control of the purse strings therefore Bush will have to accede to some of congress's demands. No longer would he be able to fund the occupation by supplemental spending, rather he would be forced to put the cost into the yearly budget and the entire country would then be forced to see how much this insane military action is really costing us. Do not get me wrong, I want to see investigations concerning pre-war intelligence, war profiteering and illegal surveillance of American citizens as much as the next person does. However, it is far more important to deal with the issues that affect our daily lives rather that hunting down reasons for impeachment. In fact, if the Democrats push too hard I believe that they will lose control in 2008 and hand the Presidency to John McCain. If the Democrats were to work on solving the real problems like prescription drugs, tax reform and the minimum wage, they stand a far better chance of taking total control in the next election. It would show that this country finally had a congress that was in the business of doing the people's work instead of just politicking. Besides, if the investigations that are conducted correctly, it would allow enough turds of shady dealings by the Republicans float to the surface, and then American sheeple will demand accountability from the White House. It would be far better if the clamor for impeachment came from Main Street than from the halls of congress. Otherwise, it would just look like payback and therefore business as usual. The Democrats actually have a chance to turn politics back into politics and get the football game mentality out of Washington. But the only way that can be done is by tackling the problems that face this nation, not by sacking the quarterback. Issues like universal healthcare, the rebuilding of the gulf coast and real energy independence should rule the day. People want change and if the Democrats do not waste this chance, we can take our country back. If the Democrats focus attention on problems of poverty, education, outsourcing and fair labor practice, they could get Quasimodo elected to the Oval Office in 08' and maintain majorities in one or both houses. As my bro Ed says, opinions are like assholes and I just showed you mine. Permalink :: 0 comments :: Post a Comment