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Clyde's Corner

"The NASCAR Liberal" clyde@dubyaD40.com

Random thoughts and observations - Part II
By Clyde
Thursday, November 17, 2005

Have you ever sat at work and looked over at a co-worker and thought to yourself, "I have known this asshole for entirely too long?"

If you have to take a class on ethics it is safe to assume that you have none.

If you were in a plane wreck and stranded in the middle of nowhere without food, how long would it take before you began to look at the heavyweight in Row 15 Seat C as Thanksgiving dinner? Personally it would take me until about lunchtime, not because I like the thought of cannibalism but more of a fact that I just hate missing a meal.

Joe Lieberman sucks!

Guys, have you ever had a day where your luck is so bad that if it were raining pussies you would get hit in the head with a dick or vice versa for the ladies, and can you imagine how hard that must be for Ann Coulter trying to decide whether it is a good or bad day?

George W. Bush as President negates the theory of intelligent design.

Does it bother anyone that the Party that promotes abstinence over sex education has leaders with the strangest sexual desires? Lynne Cheney has written a book about two canyon yodelers on the Wyoming prairie with an unnatural predilection for tampons. Scooter Libby has written a book with a bear sodomizing a young girl. We still do not know if it was Rove or McClellan that was gargling Gannon. Ken Mehlman and David Drier are closet homosexuals. The Falafel King has a food and Swedish sponge fetish. The sexual orientation of Condoleeza Rice and Harriet Miers is still up for grabs. And Ann Coulter still breaks out in a cold sweat in front of gender specific restrooms. Do not get me wrong, if you are into homosexuality with toys, fine. If you want to have a hummus flavored rim job, have at it. If you do not wish your sexual preferences to be made public, so be it. But leave the critters alone and shut the fuck up about other people's sexual appetites.

Joe Lieberman sucks!

How ironic is it that one of the reporters that broke the Watergate story is now embroiled in the Traitor-gate scandal? Although I have never agreed with his political views, I always had respect for him because of what he did to Nixon. No longer can that be the case because instead of the truth he chose to protect a traitor or should I say traitors over the needs of this country. Bob Woodward can kiss the fattest part of my ass!

Karen Hughes promoting our country in the Middle East is as dangerous as dancing the Macarena with a straight razor.

Have you ever noticed that John Gibson from Fox News looks just like the character Cad in the Underdog cartoons? All you would need is for him to shed his glasses, Billy Barty in a lab coat, a couple of beagles where one bears a strong resemblance to Joan Rivers before plastic surgery and voila - the entire cast.

Joe Lieberman sucks!

After all of the years of Republican Clinton bashing how funny is it that they now are pointing to him as their savior when it comes to the justification for war in Iraq. When Clinton bombed targets in Iraq these assholes were screaming "no war for Monica" but now that their lies are being exposed it has suddenly become the mantra of today that "Clinton said there was WMD." These hypocrites will do anything to stay in power and it is up to the Republican moderates to grow a spine and kick them the fuck out of the Party.

Sean Hannity says he is sick and tired of the Democratic Party and I say "good" because we are sick and tired of Nazi's.

The only redeeming quality of the election of 2000 is the fact that Joe Lieberman is not the vice president. At one time Lieberman may have been a Democrat and held to the Democrat's policies but that is no longer the case. How many times does he have to vote with the Republicans against us before we demand he leave our Party? I say the time is now because JOE LIEBERMAN SUCKS!

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Bill O'Reilly is a Bloviating Scumbag
By Clyde
Thursday, November 10, 2005

Once again the Falafel King Bill O'Reilly has outdone himself during his talking points memo segment on the Muslim riots in France. In this segment O'Reilly asserts that if France would have demanded that Hussein give full and unfettered access to the weapons inspectors the riots would not be happening.

Obviously the Loofa Lothario has an extremely short memory because as we all know Hussein did let the inspectors in and they were given full access everywhere they wanted to go including the presidential palaces. But that aside I find it difficult, if not impossible to see what the fuck weapons inspections has to do with rioting. To make the giant leap of what happened in Iraq before the war being the cause of what is going on in France is something that even the OxyContin cowboy Rush Limbaugh would have trouble advancing as cause and effect. Not that he wouldn't, he would just have to do it while reaching for his mega-doses.

Being unable to just stop at that assertion, O'Reilly goes on to blame the social "entitlement" programs as another reason for discontent within the Muslim community in France. This assertion makes about as much sense as a teenager joining the army in order to get away from his parents telling him what to do. I do not know what history class O'Reilly attended but I cannot seem to recall ever reading about people rising up against their government because they had the ability to go to the doctor without cost, affordable housing or a full fucking stomach. Bill was the cake induced sugar rush the reason for the French Revolution, I think not.

O'Reilly goes on to throw in the caveat that high unemployment is another factor in the rioting but it was presented as only a minor thing that should be stated but not dwelled upon. Instead another of the main causes in O'Reilly's opinion is the massive influx of Muslims who immigrated to France over the last century and that if this country does not do something about illegal immigration we will suffer the same fate. This is nothing more than racism pure and simple and it is offensive that this ass clown is able to advance his warped views upon the citizens of this country through a nationally syndicated program.

This so-called "humble correspondent" is nothing more than a bigoted blow-hard that has the audacity to denigrate anyone who does not share in his beliefs. He spits out adjectives like socialist and secularist like they are descriptions of some evil that must be eradicated from the likes of good Christian conservatives such as him. He brings people with opposing views on his show only to bully them in order to placate the other dogmatists that share his ideological stance.

Although O'Reilly has the right to share his views with others he does not believe in giving the same right to those who do not feel the same way he does. He constantly sticks his finger in their face and calls them names but when someone does the same to him, he cries foul. He purposely tries to intimidate his guests to the point where they will shut up and allow him to verbally beat them about the head and shoulders. Quite often a guest will appear on his show and not be kowtowed so he will cut their microphone so he can lambaste them without affording them the right to defending themselves.

O'Reilly likes to tell us about how he is looking out for us when in reality the motherfucker is only looking out for himself. I have no doubt that he would throw a child in front of a speeding train if it would sell him another copy of his latest book. The man knows no self restraint when it comes to hawking something that will make him a dime. How many times during his show does he say the title of his book during an interview as some way of justifying his position? He tries to sell His "Factor Gear" like Craaaazy Larry selling a 72 Pinto hatchback that has been rear-ended twice and only blown up once.

I am so sick and tired of this Irish prick that I can hardly stand it and I would love nothing more than to take him on and give him a taste of his own medicine. But then again I would never let that happen because after insisting on being on the same set as he it would take a firefighter with the jaws-of-life to pry my fingers from his throat.

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Screw Civility, I'm Tired
By Clyde
Thursday, November 3, 2005

Every time I go to watch Fox News I have to first check to make sure my trigger locks are in place and do a minimum of six Pepto Bismol shooters before turning on the television. One might wonder why I would put myself through this type of torture just so I could end up with acid reflux but the answer is very simple. I have to see what atrocity has been committed by the left in this country and what the right wing marionettes are crying about.

After watching a couple of hours recently I came to the conclusion I truly hate the whole Republican Party and anyone who tries to conduct a civil discourse with these whining fucks. The truth has absolutely no meaning to these people and there is no reason for anyone to try and talk the truth with these people anymore.

Poor little Michele Malkin was talking to the Loofa Lothario Bill O'Reilly last night where they both went into a liberal bashing session that would give Sean Hannity a blue steel hard-on and make Alan Colmes weep. They talked about how the left in this country are mean spirited racists while right wingers were the paragon of decent behavior.

Yes it was us liberals and progressives who fought civil rights legislation, made comments about how this country would be better off if Strom Thurmond had been elected president and it was us that embraced David Duke as a candidate for Governor of Louisiana. Those of us on the left were the ones who came up with the term "welfare queen" and regularly give speeches at Bob Jones University. Yep, it was us that refused to speak in front of the NAACP and it was our candidate that decided the first speech he would give after being nominated for president would be in Philadelphia Mississippi. It is the Democrats who knowingly put our nation at risk by exposing CIA operative's names to right wing columnists in order to smear someone who only told the truth and started a war for no reason other than because the president wanted to do something his daddy didn't.

The fact of the matter is that it is the Republicans who have driven American politics into the gutter not the Democrats. For years we have tried to talk to these fucks and all we ever got in return were attacks upon our beliefs and many times upon our patriotism. And now that the Democrats are using the same tactics that have been used against them in the past all of a sudden it has somehow became the "criminalization of politics." The hypocrisy is unfathomable when it comes to the current type of Republican of today. For years they berated us liberals as wimps and pussies but when the curtain is pulled back and the true Republican Party is exposed they piss their pants like cowards.

I am so sick and tired of these poor put upon Republicans and their piece of shit complaints that if one were on fire I would not piss on them to put them out.

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