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Clyde's Corner

"The NASCAR Liberal" clyde@dubyaD40.com


Time To Get A Few Things Off My Chest by Wally 1:33 PM Once again the right wing has sent out their attack dogs to prey upon a grieving mother whose only crime is that she does not accept the bullshit claim that her son died for a noble cause and that she now wants answers from Chimpboy. It really pisses me off when someone like the Loofa Lothario Bill O'Reilly has the nerve to suggest that somehow Cindy Sheehan is a traitor just because she does not buy the argument that her only son died for a noble cause. This he-man wannabe did not have the balls enough to serve in the military but if he did do you think his tune would change if it were his mother that was being trashed every night? Probably not because this piece of shit with the falafel fetish is more loyal to the Republican Party than to this country and therefore everything is morally justified if it advances the neo-con agenda. Then there is the Asian trollop Michelle Malkin who has developed the ability to speak with the dead and make absurd conclusions that Casey Sheehan is angry with his mother because of her stance upon the war. How dare this Ann Coulter sound-alike even try to put her opinion in the mouth of a soldier who has paid the ultimate price! How dare she trash a woman whose life will forever be in want of the child she brought into this world and will now only be able to reflect upon the memory of the boy she raised? It is tragic that this mind numbingly stupid little bitch is allowed to spew the hate that can only come from the self loathing she must have. And what would a good sound trashing be if Rush Limbaugh did not get into the act? The OxyContin Cowboy has deemed the entire Cindy Sheehan story a hoax perpetrated upon lies and the fact that there are people that will actually believe him boggles the mind. It must be hell to have to take a vacuum cleaner stick it to your ear and suck out half of your brain in order to become a Dittohead but there are people in this country that are willing to do just that. By no means are these the only members of the right wing God Squad who have decided that their political ideology permits them to attack this woman with impunity. Fred Barnes has decided that Cindy is a crackpot and David Horowitz believes that she is an anti-Semite. Cindy has been called a nut by the National Review editorial board and a leftist operative by most of the Fox News troglodytes. The Freepers have called her everything from a communist sympathizer to a modern day Jane Fonda but none of these people can really attack her on the core issue of her cause because it would make Georgie look bad. The fact of the matter is that George W. Bush is a coward and does not even have the balls to take an ass chewing from a bereaved mother. It is painfully clear that the reason Bush will not meet with her is because his handlers know that he would not be able to handle the situation because of his temper. If he were to meet with Cindy it would only result in another example of the boy king's inability to take criticism and reinforce public perception that Shrub is disconnected with the American people. The only support he would ever get would be from knuckle dragging mouth breathers like Larry Northern. Never in my life have I ever seen more damage done to a political party than when Northern decided to run over a symbolic tribute to the fallen soldiers from the war in Iraq. The twenty year struggle to paint the Republican Party as the political force that best represents support for the military was taken down by some redneck with a pickup truck. Forever now the face of the Republican Party when it comes to military affairs will be that of some backwoods country bumpkin with the IQ of a sand flea. *Note: There will not be a Clyde's Corner next week because Dookie and I are headed to Bristol Tennessee to get our NASCAR fix.* Permalink :: 0 comments :: Post a Comment

It Would Be Easier If I Were A Republican by Wally 1:32 PM If I were a Republican: I would not have to worry about George Bush taking a sharp corner and ripping Dick Cheney's arm out of the socket. It would not bother me that the chief of staff to the Vice President of the United States goes by the name Scooter! I would find comfort in knowing that the President of the United States actually talks to God instead of being in mortal fear of a guy who converses with the voices in his head while his thumb is poised over the nuclear trigger. I would be able to believe that George Bush is an articulate world leader instead of a bumbling fool who needs a translator to speak to his own people. I would believe that Hannity and Colmes is an honest and open debate between a conservative and a liberal instead of the nightly bitch slapping by a sadistic Hitler Youth poster boy on a man with balls the size of Raisinettes. I would think that Ann Coulter is a vivacious blonde who is only interested in making the country better instead of a hate mongering cross-dressing Skelator with a Granny Smith sized Adam's apple. I would be able to watch the O'Reilly Factor without the unwanted mental image of Bill sporting wood in the Loofa section of Bed, Bath & Beyond. I would think of Mary Matalin as an intelligent statuesque middle aged woman instead of an old crone with the face of a golden raisin with a disposition of a ten year long yeast infection. It would not bother me that Bay Buchanan looks more like a man than her brother Pat. To me Blanquita Cullum would be a shining example of dignity, grace and beauty instead of another right wing hack with a face that could scare a maggot off a shit truck from a mile away. I would believe that Rush Limbaugh is an honest and forthright teller of truth who is the victim of a vast left wing conspiracy instead of a lying hypocritical Hillbilly Heroin addict with a cigar the size of a large dog turd stuck between his jowls. If I were a Republican I would: Agree to believe that the earth was created a mere four thousand years ago by a superior being who made man in his own image, made woman from a rib and all female plumbing problems are all Eve's fault because she ate a piece of fruit. Think that creationism must be taught in schools even though every school in the country becomes a veritable house of worship during exam week. Be secure in my faith as a Christian because of my political affiliation rather than my adherence to the teachings of a long haired liberal hippie in sandals with an inherent fear of nails and crosses. Be able to justify my support for the Iraq war by fighting the culture war of ideas here at home. Believe that the Bush tax cuts are beneficial to the economy because I can now afford another six-pack of Milwaukee's Best this year. Believe that a 6' 3" Arab can sashay his way around a desert with a dialysis machine strapped to his ass and still avoid capture for four years. The fact of the matter is that to be a Republican means that you do not need to sweat the little things like thinking for yourself. You only need to bend in half, shove your head up your ass and admire the view. Permalink :: 0 comments :: Post a Comment

Okay, NOW I Am Really Pissed! by Wally 1:32 PM (Normally when I write this column I try to make a conscious effort to stay away from using foul language, but there have been times when the only way I felt I could get my point across was to use what could be considered socially unacceptable language. This is one of those times and if vulgarity offends you I suggest you not read this!) Rush Limbaugh can "KISS THE FATTEST PART OF MY ASS!" Never in my life have I come across a piece of shit so offensive as this waste of oxygen. His very existence proves that the claim of Intelligent Design is nothing more than ignorant claptrap that is spoon fed to weak minded fools who have nothing better to do than sit around trying to decide between picking their nose or their ass. Oh, there have been many, many times that this drug addled Denny's parking lot dweller has gotten under my skin but what he said about Paul Hackett has got to be the most offensive example of oral flatulence that has ever been spewed from his oral cavity. This fat tub of lard had the audacity to call Hackett a "staff puke" because he was assigned to a civilian affairs unit while being deployed in Iraq. But what this OxyContin addict didn't tell his listeners is that during the Fallujah offensive, Hackett was in charge of a rifle platoon guarding the gates into and out of the city. This offensive resulted in over 200 dead and wounded American soldiers so I think it is safe to say that although Hackett was considered to be in a rear area style unit he did see an awful lot of combat. Yet this dickless wonder has the temerity to question this man's service because he does not agree with the neo-con ideology. The fact that Hackett was proud of his service and made comments about the conditions our soldiers in Iraq are faced with made this pile of elephant dung come out of his latest downer induced stupor to belittle Hackett's service record. One must wonder why a political party that claims to love the troops so much would need to attack a member of our armed forces just because he is unwilling to drink the Republican Kool-Aid. Could it be that this claim is nothing more than a case of false advertising because obviously for many who have served in Iraq it is? These inept fucks have no right to downplay the service that these soldiers have provided to this nation especially when their own service is in question. Like most of the top members of the Republican cabal, when it came time for this putrid piece of dogshit to step up to the plate and go fight in Vietnam, Limbaugh took the thumb out of his ass, stuck it in his mouth and went running home to Cape Girardeau, Missouri like the whining little bitch that he is. He and the rest of the Chickenhawk Brigade that makes up the Republican Party love to scream from the rooftops about how much they support the military. But when it came time for them to put their ass on the line, they either hid behind their daddy's influence and served in the champagne unit of the Texas Air National Guard, took five college deferments or suffered from some bullshit medical malady that disqualified them for service. These neo-con death cult fucks just love the troops as long as they are deployed fighting this bullshit war that has only served to win daddy's approval for Presidunce Bunnypants. But when they return and have the stones to speak the truth about the conditions our men and women are facing in Iraq, Limbaugh and the rest of the Republican pussies attack that person and denigrate their service to this nation. It was bad enough that the Lying Swift Boat Veterans attacked John Kerry's service record during the Vietnam war but there is one major difference between them and this hydrocodone junkie, they at least were in the war. They did not run and hide behind their momma's skirt with seepage from a pilonidal cyst running down the crack of their ass. Yet if you were to talk to one of his devoted listeners you would think that this Hillbilly Heroin addicted piece of pond scum was the greatest American since George Washington. To this day it amazes me that there are people in this country who say to themselves that it is time to turn on the radio because "I haven't had my daily mind fuck" by this Barbiturate Behemoth. It is obvious to anyone who has the capacity for rational thought that these people are nothing more than sheep who must be told what, when, where and how to live their lives. They have no desire for independent thought and are only comfortable when controlled by what they perceive as a father figure. Take a good look at the majority of people who now make up the Republican Party and you will see a group who could very well be talked into giving up their freedom just like the German people did back in the thirties. They are more than willing to excuse any excess perpetrated by Bush and his cronies because they are married more to the party than they are to the country. They cannot fathom the idea that half of the country believes that Bush and his cohorts are nothing more than criminals in need of a long stay in a "pound you in the ass" prison. They gargle the spunk from the penis of this ass clown like it was nectar from the gods and it makes me sick to think that they consider themselves to be more patriotic than us evil liberals. I am so sick and tired of this bullshit Republican mantra of how great their party is when in fact that they need drug induced pieces of whale shit like Limbaugh to spin the actions of their leaders into something that is more palatable. Permalink :: 0 comments :: Post a Comment