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Buh Buh, But What About Clinton? By Clyde Thursday, April 21, 2005 Trying to talk to a Republican about the corruption of their Party's leadership is a lot like trying to push a rope, no matter how hard you try it always veers off to the side. Bringing up the faults of their honored conservative chieftains triggers an automatic response every time. First their eyes will roll back into their skull. Spittle will begin forming at the corners of their mouth. Their hands begin to shake like they have a bad case of Parkinson's disease and their mouth begins to open and shut like a trout out of water. This is also the time when you will see them spasmodically go into to the cranial to rectal insertion mode and you begin hearing the anally echoed pre-programmed Clinton bashing. After eight years of donning a raincoat and miners helmet in order to facilitate the in-depth rectal exam of William Jefferson Clinton, you would think that they would at least hold their top officials to a code of conduct that they so fervently demanded during Clinton's term in office. Instead they refuse to hold these contemptuous inept troglodytes accountable for actions that can only be described as criminal. In the past, we on the political left have always tried to use facts when we have a political discussion with a member of the lemming right-wing. This is a tactic that has proven itself to be totally useless when put up against the herd-like mentality that is so prevalent with our Republican friends. So in an effort to break down the wall of spoon fed right-wing talking points, when you have the next political discussion with a Republican about what is wrong with their leadership, bring up Clinton before they do. The preemptive invocation of Bill Clinton can be used in a wide variety of subjects brought up by our friends on the right. Everything from the war in Iraq to Tom the "nailed" Delay's ethics violations has a Bill Clinton talking point you can use. For example: When they try to tell you that the invasion of Iraq was warranted because he was a threat to the United States, remind them about the complaints we heard about when Clinton ordered missile strikes during the Monica Lewinsky scandal. All we heard was "no war for Monica" but not one word about rape rooms or death chambers. It would seem that the only time that the only time that Saddam becomes a threat to our safety is when Texas oilmen with the knack for butchering the English language are in the White House. Or when discussing campaign contributions, talk about how they whined about Bill Clinton's Vice President Al Gore over a campaign event given in a Buddhist Temple but now it is okay for a House Majority leader to receive lavish golfing trips and vacation getaways to Scotland, Russia and Saipan paid for by lobbyist's for Indian gaming, Russian oil companies, sweatshop clothing manufacturers and the sex trade entrepreneurs. When they bring up family values remind them about Elian Gonzales and how evil it was when he was returned to a birth parent in a country that has a guaranteed education for every child, universal health care for all and a lower infant mortality rate than this country. But how noble it is that because of tax cuts for the wealthiest among us, every child born in this country is already in debt to the tune of over $22,000.00 or that they support a Vice President who advocates legislation that would discriminate against his own child. By playing the Clinton card before they can, you will reap benefits beyond your wildest dreams. It will force them onto an unfamiliar playing field with a different set of rules and thereby giving you the chance to break through their pre-programmed response. Have fun with it by making it into a game where you try to see how many times you can actually hear their panties wadding up into their colon when they try to come up with a talking point that was not dictated to them from the hillbilly heroin addict. Or you could try to score points for the amount of foam that forms at the corner of their mouth because of the hyperventilation that results when they are forced to find the few remaining brain cells that would allow them to attempt to make a coherent argument instead the inane comments given to them from the Hitler Youth poster boy. Maybe you could lay wagers with other liberals to see how fast their expression turns into one that resembles the face of an uncooperative bowel movement because they cannot use a hate filled euphemism taught to them by an anorexic bottle blonde who suffers from testosterone poisoning. The biggest problem we liberals have is that we think about an issue and try to attack the problem intelligently. This cannot work when you are talking to a reactionary mind-set like the conservative philosophy. So instead we need to use every tool at our disposal and use it against them. And as long as we take the Clinton argument and use it as our own, we will succeed in forcing the average every day Republican to face the facts that they have ran from for the last five years. Permalink :: 0 comments :: Post a Comment   An Open Letter To The Average Republican By Clyde Thursday, April 14, 2005 Dear Mr. and Mrs. John Q. Republican, what will it take for you to realize that your Party has been stolen away from its core values by a group Christo/fascist corporatists whose only goal is to further enrich themselves at your expense? It is becoming painfully obvious that you would rather be slapped in the throat with grapefruit sized testicles by these neo-con fanatics than admit the truth to yourselves. It was not enough that the Repugnicans stole another election, or that they gave away the bank to the insurance companies over the new Medicare plan. It was not enough for them to pass the unfunded mandate No Childs Behind Left or passing a bankruptcy bill that forces senior citizens to give up their homes when they do not have enough money to pay their doctor bill. It isn't bad enough that gasoline is over two dollars a gallon and that the Senate passed an 80.6 billion dollar emergency appropriation bill for the war in Iraq and that urgently needed baseball stadium for Washington D.C. Dan Rather lost his job because of a copy of a memo where the undisputed fact that George W. Bush deserted from the Texas Air National Guard, but was made out to be a forgery because Republican operatives were so adept that they knew the exact year when a certain type of font was used on a typewriter. You trashed Michael Moore as an unpatriotic traitor because his film told the truth about the relationship between the Bush and bin Laden families. You were happy that the pretty little white girl Jessica Lynch was given the Bronze Star for meritorious service by getting into an accident and being unconscious for the entire "battle." Is did not bother you that one of the most respected political columnists of the last fifty years, Helen Thomas, was sent to the back row of the briefing room because she did her job, while one of the most reviled columnists Robert "the traitor" Novak has yet to be charged for outing the identity of a CIA operative devoted to finding weapons of mass destruction. You accuse the media of having a liberal bias but had nothing to say about the access that was freely granted to an untrained pseudo journalist with an unabashed right wing bias and who just happens to have a job as a man whore on the side. You reveled in the fact that talk radio is dominated by conservative talking heads but had nothing to say when a liberal network got started; the neo-cons infiltrated the highest echelons of the corporation in an attempt to make it fail. You continue to support a House Majority Leader who used his position to have the Department of Homeland Security track down Texas Democrats and accepted vacations from lobbyists for the sweatshops and sex trade in Saipan. You swallow the throat yogurt he spews that there is a vast left wing conspiracy to bring him and the conservative movement down because he accepted travel accommodations and golfing trips provided by Russian oil companies and Indian gaming casinos. You had nothing to say when he muscled through a change in the ethics rules just so he would not lose his leadership position because of possible indictments of violation of Texas campaign finance laws. You sat back when he pushed through a special session of congress to draft legislation that clearly was an invasion of the privacy of a Florida woman who ceased being a viable human being 15 years ago, in order to take the attention off his illegal activities. You support a regime that promotes those who failed to do their job in the past, but dismisses those who tried to perform their duties to the best of their abilities. You laud the fact that a man who headed up death squads during the Iran/Contra scandal is now on his way to being the chief intelligence officer of the country. You are enthused that the nominee for the ambassador to the U.N. is a person who holds the view that the United Nations is only a viable entity when it agrees with everything this country does. You were pleased that the chief law enforcement officer in this country called the Geneva Convention's accords for the treatment of prisoners, quaint. After all of what has happened in the last 5 years you still support these anti-American religious fanatics and it does not look like you are willing to stand up to them and take back your Party. This leaves me with only one question; doesn't that pubic hair tickle your nose when you are kissing these balls as big as church bells? Permalink :: 0 comments :: Post a Comment