dubyaD40.com - Clyde's Corner

Clyde's Corner

"The NASCAR Liberal" clyde@dubyaD40.com


Masculinity at its finest by Clyde 7:51 AM Call me old fashioned but I just cannot believe how we men are slowly but surely being turned into women. This morning on the way to work, I heard an advertisement for men's blue jeans designed too lift and shape the buttocks. Now I don't know about you but I have a little problem with guys that are so into how they look they would even consider to buying a piece of clothing that lifts and shapes. It just isn't... MANLY! When it comes to wardrobe, I only have three areas of interest that must be taken into consideration. How hard of a reach it is to the spot that itches, what level of swamp ass am I going to get and how well does it hold up to a gravy stain. That's it, all else is moot in my humble opinion. Whether my blue jeans show off the shape of my ass doesn't even come into the picture. Another troubling aspect to this advertisement was that they touted that the blue jeans were designed by gay men and they named them "Rough Skins". Now I don't know what you think but to me, that is just wrong on so many levels. What next, shirts designed by lesbians with two clam shells embroidered on the pocket? The fact of the matter is that men are becoming extinct. Men of old used to worry about the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition but now it seems that more and more men are trying to be the model on the cover of the swimsuit edition. Men need to quit worrying about whether their hair is turning grey and get back to our core values like arguing about the infield fly rule. Men need to get over the fact that their hair is falling out and instead look to the bright side of using Lava soap as a body wash. (It cleans more than just the dirt from underneath your fingernails if you know what I mean.) Men need to quit fretting about their health and instead turn into our fathers and look at life's simple pleasures. Flaunting the 5 second rule by picking up and eating the bacon off the floor without brushing it off. The security in knowing that everything tastes better if you put chili on it. The fashion statement of wearing black socks with Bermuda shorts. The ecstasy of curing chapped lips with a good brand of 30 weight. The satisfaction of blowing your nose on the lawn. The bond of earwax and a paper clip. The smell of singed hair and Kingsford charcoal. Scratching your nads in public and silently proclaiming to the world, "I AM MAN - SEE." These are just a few of the things that makes us men and I bet you are wondering what in the hell that has to do with politics. Nothing, not one damn thing. Sometimes you just need to give it a break. After all, even a heroin junkie knows he has a couple of days before the DT's set in. Permalink :: 4 comments :: Post a Comment



	Yes Clyde, you do look fat in those jeans. After reading this, I feel chastised about raiding my wife's stuff for hygiene products. Looks like I'll have to give up the Pledge and go back to using Turtle Wax to shine my head. posted by Wally at 8:49 AM

	don't forget how funny "pull my finger" can be. posted by Anonymous at 10:29 AM

	i wear a size 38, but a 40 feels so good i buy 42s. posted by joe at 1:00 PM

	IT HAS EVERYTHING TO DO WITH POLITICS. I refer you to the most brilliant political analysis since Locke's Social Contract. http://americaabroad.tpmcafe.com/blog/6710 posted by Grendel at 7:55 PM