This week in the news 10-12-06
By Clyde
Thursday, October 12, 2006
This week's top story:
Twenty-something Alabama native Natalee Holloway is still missing!
In front of a cemetery, Speaker of the House Dennis Hasturd gave a press conference this week where he claimed that anyone on his staff that covered up details pertinent to the Mark Foley scandal a.k.a. Mastur-gate would no longer be employed. When queried about the choice of locale for said press conference, an anonymous source said that besides golf courses, cemeteries are big enough to accommodate Hasturd's posterior.
Was Cory Lidle a Democrat?
Johns Hopkins University has concluded that the Iraqi war dead has exceeded 655,000. Even though funded by the Massachusetts Institute of Technology and published by the British medical Journal Lancet, PresiDunce Bush does not find the study credible. Some things are best left unsaid.
Am I the only one curious as to why we have not heard a peep from the testicle with tits Ann Coulter since the Mastur-gate story broke? Inquiring minds want to know.
After being sentenced to two years in jail for wasting public money, former Iraqi Electricity Minister Ayham al-Samarraie sought political asylum when he escaped to the American Embassy. Upon arrival Vice President Dick Cheney immediately offered him a position on his staff. Not in the Mark Foley sense but as in a job. You people have dirty minds.
Since the Eisenhower Strike Group set sail for the Persian Gulf, do you think Iranian President Ahmadinejad is trying to get pointers about undisclosed locations from Dick Cheney?
Even though the quality of recruits may appear to be falling, the Pentagon asserted that relaxed requirements on age, criminal history and aptitude were having no adverse effects upon the military. One Pentagon spokesman was quoted as saying, "if it's good enough for the White House its good enough for us."
If it was Clinton's fault, then why weren't there any nuclear weapons tested by North Korea until now?
It has recently been reported that the FBI has only 33 agents that can speak Arabic and only one percent of all agents have any familiarity with the language. I guess the Osamas Gone Wild videos just do not pack the theaters as they once had.
Odd news of the week:
A 1986 study conducted by the University if Tennessee on how to stop the hiccups found that the best technique was to shove a finger up your ass. I shit you not!
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