This week in the news 9-7-06
By Clyde
Thursday, September 7, 2006
Natalee Holloway is still missing, John Mark Karr is only guilty of being a sick piece of shit and thanks to the liberal media's coverage of the death of Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin; I no longer have to wonder what to do when I come across a stingray here in Kansas.
On a side note, how many of you were not surprised that Irwin was killed, but in how he was killed. Personally, as much as I admired the man, I was flabbergasted when I realized his funeral is not going to have a hermetically sealed casket in order to hold down the stench from a rotting big toe and a steaming pile of crocodile shit. Crikey!
Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld underwent surgery on his shoulder this week. Upon hearing that PresiDunce Bush had acknowledged the existence of secret CIA prisons, Rummy began fingering his morphine drip like Rush Limbaugh coaching a Little Leaguer.
PresiDunce Bush quoted Osama bin Laden during a speech this week trying to bolster support for the occupation in Iraq. It is amazing to me that Bush has the ability to prarie-dog this turd on command. Not too long ago, according to Bush, bin Laden was just another minor player in the War on Terror. But now that it looks like the Democrats will the House and possibly the Senate, all of sudden, he becomes the Great Satan once again to be feared.
It seems that Ann Coulter's gynecologist has quit his job. He got tired of getting bitch slapped every time he brought up Coulter's escalating sperm count.
It is being reported that the White House is secretly funneling millions into Joe (I SUCK) Lieberman's re-election campaign. I have not heard of such an influx of Karl Rove and George W. Bush's influence into another human being's business since Jeff Gannon's proctologic exam on the desk in the Oval Office.
It is rumored that Mary Cheney had to have emergency oral surgery this week. It seems her partner had pierced her clitoris and Ms. Cheney chipped a tooth.
My observation of the week:Why do bull riders only have to stay on for eight seconds? Could it be that five seconds was too short and ten seconds too long? On the other hand, could it be that it takes dinner eight seconds to get pissed off enough to buck the dumbass off? Inquiring minds want to know.
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