What's a little conversation among friends?
By Clyde
Thursday, January 26, 2006
As if we didn't know this already but KKKarl Rove came out last week and basically said that the Republicans were going to run a campaign of fear for the 2006 elections. But you watch and see a large sector of the American sheeple will willingly go into the zombie-like trance and lift the jelly glass full of neo-con Kool-Aid to their lips. For anyone who tries to have an intelligent political conversation with one of these trolls there are a few rules you must abide by and should you forget one, the debate is lost.
Rule #1
Keep it short! Do not attempt an extended dialogue to make your point; it will not work. You see the common ditto-head can only comprehend a sentence that does not last longer than 10 seconds. Once 10 seconds are up, the average Republican Bush apologist will automatically suffer from an instant case of right wing Tourette's syndrome and begin shouting the name of Bill Clinton.
Rule #2
Try to use single syllable words whenever possible! It is okay to use 2 syllables and you can even throw in an occasional 3 but any more than that and a Republican's head will explode like a Palestinian in a crowded market in Jerusalem.
Side note: Be prepared to try and figure out what they mean when they use words like misunderestimated and sublinimable.
Rule #3
Remember to allow the Republican to recite his right wing talking points! If you fail to do this the Kool-Aid addicted ass-clown will spontaneously go into a state of Delirium Tremens that closely resembles Robert Downey Jr. on Day 3 of his annual visit to county lock-up.
Rule #4
Always remember that to the neo-con September 11th was Bill Clinton's fault. Even though Dear Leader went fishing after being briefed with a PDB titled "Osama bin Laden determined to strike within the United States" there is no way that this should rest on his shoulders. Nothing bad that has ever happened in this country is Bush's fault; everything he has done is good and righteous. If you're into being amused just tell him that nothing good or righteous has happened in the last six years and watch his ass cheeks eat the bar stool like an octopus dragging in a fish.
Rule #5
Do not use the New York Times as a reference source. You see to the average right winger the Times is nothing less than a communist rag that promotes left wing propaganda even though it promoted the invasion of Iraq like a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader. Instead try to use the paragons of balance like NewsMax, Fox News, and The Drudge Report whenever possible. This is a very hard rule to comply with and sometimes it is best to just refuse to use a reference at all.
Rule #6
Remember that all Republicans have very short memories and that trying to use their own words against them is useless. Their statements are to be treated like their ideals and disappear faster than a fart in a windstorm.
Rule #7
Always remember that we must have a strict interpretation of the Constitution at all times. Except when it comes to the separation of church and state, civil rights, personal privacy, a woman's right to choose, self incrimination, detainees, burden of proof, corporate personhood, and presidential powers.
Rule #8
Always remember that science is theory and the Bible is fact. It's okay to teach about a man calling on an invisible Being that resides in the clouds to bring about a swarm of locust but you cannot show the fossilized remains of a being that somewhat resembles modern man while at the same time looking an awful lot like an ape.
Rule #9
If there is any one thing you must keep in mind when speaking with a neo-con it is the fact that the media has a liberal bias and it just wants to tear George W. Bush down. Don't try to argue that most of the media is owned by six people who all believe in the neo-conservative philosophy because it will fall upon ears as deaf as Beethoven.
Rule #10
The last but most important rule of all is that for now you still have a choice. You can choose to argue with a neo-con Neanderthal or you can tell him to shut the fuck up, fuck off and order yourself another beer.
On a personal note I want to welcome Ed into the dubyaD40 family, I am sure that his unique views upon the political landscape will have a lasting effect upon those who read his column. Of course I am going to pimp him, we share the same gene pool. Redneck NASCAR fans who ride Harleys.
Permalink
::
0 comments
::
|
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
<$BlogCommentBody$>
posted by
<$BlogCommentAuthor$>
at <$BlogCommentDateTime$> <$BlogCommentDeleteIcon$> |
| |
|
| |
|
|
