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Clyde's
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"The NASCAR Liberal"
clyde@dubyaD40.com |
Raping Ann Coulter
By Clyde
Thursday, December 8, 2005
Well once again the testosterone enriched bottle blonde of right wing hate fame Ann Coulter has been making the rounds over at Fox News. During one episode of the O'Reilly Factor, Coulter made the claim that liberals want to rape her. I find that totally incredulous because the mere idea of a sexual encounter with this broom stick figured trans-testicle is enough to make you contemplate putting a gun barrel in your mouth and the mental image is one that will forever haunt you to the very depths of your soul.
The notion of raping the peroxide Eva Braun of conservative hate is one of complex details that would need to be considered before the venture was to be pursued. First you would need to reconcile with yourself on your view of anal sex because after all there is still the question as to whether Coulter is the proud possessor of a bun or a set of frank and beans. Second, how convenient would it be to have to cart around a fifty-five gallon drum of KY Jelly to give you that much needed lubrication? Third, could you even reach sexual climax with someone who looks like an Ethiopian on Jenny Craig?
Being as sex is rapidly becoming a distant memory that I look upon with longing, I can honestly say that having a romantic interlude with the Adam's apple on a stick is something that I would gladly forego in favor of being repeatedly kicked in the groin by the Budweiser Clydesdales. I would stand there with a smile on my face as each blow was delivered because I would be comforted in the knowledge that I could always make a living on the carnival circuit as the "Amazing Testicle Man!" The only living male with gonads the size of large pumpkins that each weight in at a hefty 75 pounds a piece! It is truly amazing folks because he has to wheel them around in a wagon in order to walk and the term "scratching his nuts" takes on a whole new meaning.
I can only imagine that even consensual sex with the right wing Lizzie Borden wannabe is an experience worthy of bringing an exorcist and being shrouded in enough Kevlar to make a Columbine High graduate on his way to a class reunion green with envy.
The sheer fact that this hate mongering bitch/bastard has the audacity to whine about how much the left despises her/he/it is one that truly boggles the mind. Here is a woman/man/whatever that makes Attila the Hun look like Buddha and has the temerity to bemoan the fact that those of us on the left have decided that we can play the same game. I guess in the little world of anorexic Nazi hypo-Christian fascism it is totally uncalled for those who have been accused of being unpatriotic, Christian hating, Muslim loving, blame America first traitors that only deserve execution begin to push back just as hard as we have been pushed. But not in mine!
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