A Yuletide Clyde's Corner
posted by
Clyde
1:13 PM
THE "REAL" NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
'Twas the night before Christmas, and across the land
Look out! It's Matthews' hormonal gland;
At Greta and Rita we were forced to stare,
Of Natalee's plight, they nightly, did air;
There's a War on Christmas O'Reilly has said,
With portions of hummus and flatbread he uses in bed;
There's Sean in his jackboots and Ingraham in his lap,
Poor Alan Colmes, still comes off as a sap,
In studios, at once they all did chatter,
They call this debate, is there anything sadder?
With fury and spittle their teeth did gnash,
Forget principles, they're in it for cash.
Of Cheney and Bush the scandals did grow
When asked to report, they said "Oh Hell No!",
With Paris or Britney there's no need for fear,
There's time for real news, sometime next year,
For now it's the story of the pretty white chick,
and there's always the story of Falcon Mike Vick.
The studios are different,, but the talk is the same,
They bristled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, Kristol! now, Gibson! now, King and Blitzer!
On, Beck! on Grace! on, Scarborough and Tucker!
With viewers and ratings your numbers did fall!
Can't you tell by now, that we loathe you all?"
On issues of import, the people did try,
yet busy were you, with the airport bathroom guy.
Defense of Limbaugh, of course they flew,
Like Delay, Rove and Libby too.
Attacked Kerry and Durbin, for their verbal goof
Yet with Savage and Coulter, they remained aloof.
Doocy and Kilmeade, the alarm they did sound,
Of Obama's "real" faith, they thought was found.
Wrapped in the flag from head to foot,
While victims of Katrina still clad in ashes and soot;
Likes wolves in forest, they travel in pack,
Ready to stab a Democrat, right in the back.
Bush lies - go unchallenged! Cheney's crimes how many?
The story of Terri, was better than any!
Lou Dobbs and Cavuto are having a row,
It's the fault of the immigrants or didn't you know?
Republican talking points, is what they bequeath,
The Democrats outnumbered, three too one seat;
Their arguments are foul and smelly,
Serves as the fare, upon radio and telly.
Put the war and its death upon the shelf,
Instead, let's talk, some more about that Teacher Milf;
No mention of soldiers, shot in the head,
Would much rather blame Liberals, for it instead;
The truth not needed, for this type of work,
If spoken on air, is removed with a jerk,
The lies into war, must lay in repose,
for it's time for commercial, this segment is closed;
Free speech for all, is from the constitution they say,
But only as long, as it is said their way.
The show is over and the host says good-night,
as he flips you off, upon dimming the light!
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