Senator Craig defends his "I'm not gay" speech citing the "Degrees of Gayness"

In an exclusive interview with myfoxnewsonline.com , Senator Larry Craig tonight defended his stance on not being gay. Senator Craig showed up for the interview with his beard wife in tow.

Senator Craig stated that there are "degrees of gayness", and that according to these degrees, he is not gay.

When pressed for details on these "degrees of gayness", Senator Craig responded by saying:

"Well you see, there are numerous degrees of gayness, which can help you determine if you are gay or not. Let's say you're married, like me, for instance. By general decree my marriage to a female makes me not gay. The fact that I like sex with other men has nothing to do with this".

Senator Craig then went on to list the degrees of gayness:

1st degree: You're married, and Republican, but like getting sex from other men. Notice the key word from other men. If you receive oral sex from another man, or if you perform anal sex on another man, that doesn't make you gay because you're not the one sucking that dick or taking it in the ass.

2nd degree: You're married, and Republican, but like performing sex on other men. Since you're married it means you aren't gay, and besides, your wife only said she'd leave you if she caught you with another woman.

3rd degree: Here's where we draw the line at not being gay. The 3rd degree is any sexual contact with another man if you are unmarried and/or not a Republican. This makes you totally GAY!"

Satire