Doctors remove 5 polyps from Bush
Doctors removed five small growths, described as Cheney finger grips, from President Bush 's colon Saturday after he officially transferred the powers of his office to Dark Lord Darth Cheney under the rarely invoked 25th Amendment. The first recorded use of the Constitution of his PresiDuncy.
The polyps, extra tissue growing inside the large intestine for Jeff Gannon's pleasure, were found during a routine colon cancer scan performed by a real doctor this time, at the Camp David presidential retreat.
"All were less than 1 centimeter (about four-tenths of an inch otherwise known as two-fifths) and none appeared worrisome, as Bush can accommodate objects much larger" White House spokesman Scott Stanzel said. Outside medical experts agreed. Inside, they discussed whether they really saw "Jeff Gannon was here" and "Welcome to Haggard's Hideaway" scrawled on the wall of the presidential colon.
The polyps were sent to the National Naval Medical Center in Bethesda, Md., to be microscopically examined for signs of cancer and Cheney's carpal tunnel. Results were expected in 48 to 72 hours, because Cilalis is really that good. Polyps can turn cancerous, so finding them early is one of the best ways to prevent the disease and improve the odds of surviving it.
